stop the world...i want to get off
I'm sorry to keep whining since I know I really have nothing to complain about but I'm going to share what's been going on just to get it all out of my head. It's been a surreal roller coaster of emotions ever since we came down to CA last weekend.
My sister-in-law got married this past Tuesday (wedding originally scheduled for August but changed due to her father's prognosis) and it was a small, lovely ceremony which my FIL managed to stand through, refusing the wheelchair. He also made it through the dinner even with his incredible exhaustion. I'm sure they were feeling the worst extremes of joy and devastation throughout the evening but father and daughter did wonderfully. FIL has good and bad days but hasn't been able to keep food down for some time now. It's really hard given the importance food has on the Chinese culture and especially in their family. One of the most insidious aspects of the cancer has been how rapidly it has deteriorated FIL's health - it's just unreal.
The medical issues of my own mother morphed into a more worrisome situation. Her kidney tumor, though benign, is too large to leave unchecked so she had to decide whether to have it removed along with the kidney (nephrectomy), or to have an embolization done to cut off the tumor's blood supply, which is not as effective but would preserve the kidney. Normally, a person can live with only one kidney but there seems to be another small tumor on the other kidney so it's more of a risk to have the nephrectomy. Also found out yesterday that chemotherapy is not an option for someone with one kidney so anyone who has a history of cancer should try to save both kidneys in the event there is a recurrence and need for chemo treatment. Clearly the embolization is the better choice for her but it's hard to pick the procedure that may not work. The lump in her upper chest will also be removed soon and studied carefully to be sure it's not a spread of cancer since she had similar tumor cells removed from elsewhere a few years ago.
Can I just say how much I HATE the words tumor and cancer. They are odious thieves of life and happiness for both the people who suffer with them and those who care. I wish so badly that I could time travel so we could all have our lives back - is that too much to ask?
My sister-in-law got married this past Tuesday (wedding originally scheduled for August but changed due to her father's prognosis) and it was a small, lovely ceremony which my FIL managed to stand through, refusing the wheelchair. He also made it through the dinner even with his incredible exhaustion. I'm sure they were feeling the worst extremes of joy and devastation throughout the evening but father and daughter did wonderfully. FIL has good and bad days but hasn't been able to keep food down for some time now. It's really hard given the importance food has on the Chinese culture and especially in their family. One of the most insidious aspects of the cancer has been how rapidly it has deteriorated FIL's health - it's just unreal.
The medical issues of my own mother morphed into a more worrisome situation. Her kidney tumor, though benign, is too large to leave unchecked so she had to decide whether to have it removed along with the kidney (nephrectomy), or to have an embolization done to cut off the tumor's blood supply, which is not as effective but would preserve the kidney. Normally, a person can live with only one kidney but there seems to be another small tumor on the other kidney so it's more of a risk to have the nephrectomy. Also found out yesterday that chemotherapy is not an option for someone with one kidney so anyone who has a history of cancer should try to save both kidneys in the event there is a recurrence and need for chemo treatment. Clearly the embolization is the better choice for her but it's hard to pick the procedure that may not work. The lump in her upper chest will also be removed soon and studied carefully to be sure it's not a spread of cancer since she had similar tumor cells removed from elsewhere a few years ago.
Can I just say how much I HATE the words tumor and cancer. They are odious thieves of life and happiness for both the people who suffer with them and those who care. I wish so badly that I could time travel so we could all have our lives back - is that too much to ask?
8 Comments:
hey edina - so sorry to hear of your woes. hoping you have some chocolate nearby....sending hugs across the miles.
No, Edina, it's not too much to ask. I know how you feel. I look back often and think "if I just could go back and take it all in again..."
You're in my thoughts...
Hi-I came across your blog. my husband is 42 with kidney cancer. there is a list you can join at www.acor.org, it has saved my husbands life with surgery advice, treatment options, etc. lots of info on cysts that are benign too. join our list or email me at llewis104@yahoo.com Maybe I can answer some questions. i know how you feel - Liz
oh my goodness that is not too much to ask - if only we could go back in time and ward off those maladies! take care of yourself - I am thinking of you.
xoxx, Renée
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Oh EDINA....
Thank you for SHARING!!!! Sometimes is HELPS to just send your message OUT to the cyber cosmic universe... it seems to be almost a relief to be able to talk about it.
Sending many many warm thoughts of peace and comfort for you and your family!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Oh I am so sorry your family is going through such a dificult time.
Sending hope and healing thoughts... and a big hug for you!
Edina, Thinking of you and your family. Debbie
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