thank you
Thanks to all of you who have left and sent such thoughtful and supportive comments and emails - they mean more to me than I can put into words. I wish I could personally reply to each of you but just can't right now...
We were hoping for the best but expecting the worst and unfortunately, it's the latter. The prognosis from my FIL's oncologist is 3 months. My husband and I intended to drive down to CA for an extended period starting this Thursday but flew back last Thursday and Friday when FIL was rushed to the ER again. He was stabilized and released and is now receiving hospice care at home. We had another scare that day because MIL was also hospitalized when an ER nurse saw her clutching at her chest and worried she might be having heart problems. She seems to be OK now but will be getting that checked out.
It goes without saying that it has been an incredibly difficult time for FIL and family. I'm still trying to find my way with how I can offer my support to all of them and my husband who is now telecommuting from there, along with having to help care for his father. I have returned home for a few days to pack and prepare for us to be gone for at least a few weeks. Hubby is flying back Friday so we can drive back down together this weekend.
Spending extended time with both of our families in the Bay Area turns out to be a timely move because last week I also received a frantic call from my father that my mother found a lump a few inches down from her collar bone and possibly something suspicious on a lung and a kidney. She had and recovered from breast cancer about 10 years ago so we were concerned it might be a recurrence. After going over the initial test results in detail with a relative who is a radiation oncologist, we were relieved that everything they found was probably nothing to worry about, though my mom will be having surgery in a few weeks to have the lump removed.
Every time the phone rings, my heart sinks that it will bad news about FIL or someone else in my life. As I clean and pack, I spend a lot of time thinking about what really matters. Lately, I have been feeling ambivalent about the activities that I have always enjoyed - thinking that they aren't so important compared to spending time with friends and family but also not wanting to do away with these small pleasures in life. I have to figure out how to be at a standstill and on a racetrack at the same time.
We were hoping for the best but expecting the worst and unfortunately, it's the latter. The prognosis from my FIL's oncologist is 3 months. My husband and I intended to drive down to CA for an extended period starting this Thursday but flew back last Thursday and Friday when FIL was rushed to the ER again. He was stabilized and released and is now receiving hospice care at home. We had another scare that day because MIL was also hospitalized when an ER nurse saw her clutching at her chest and worried she might be having heart problems. She seems to be OK now but will be getting that checked out.
It goes without saying that it has been an incredibly difficult time for FIL and family. I'm still trying to find my way with how I can offer my support to all of them and my husband who is now telecommuting from there, along with having to help care for his father. I have returned home for a few days to pack and prepare for us to be gone for at least a few weeks. Hubby is flying back Friday so we can drive back down together this weekend.
Spending extended time with both of our families in the Bay Area turns out to be a timely move because last week I also received a frantic call from my father that my mother found a lump a few inches down from her collar bone and possibly something suspicious on a lung and a kidney. She had and recovered from breast cancer about 10 years ago so we were concerned it might be a recurrence. After going over the initial test results in detail with a relative who is a radiation oncologist, we were relieved that everything they found was probably nothing to worry about, though my mom will be having surgery in a few weeks to have the lump removed.
Every time the phone rings, my heart sinks that it will bad news about FIL or someone else in my life. As I clean and pack, I spend a lot of time thinking about what really matters. Lately, I have been feeling ambivalent about the activities that I have always enjoyed - thinking that they aren't so important compared to spending time with friends and family but also not wanting to do away with these small pleasures in life. I have to figure out how to be at a standstill and on a racetrack at the same time.
7 Comments:
Edina:
Give yourself permission to go with the ebbs and flows, and to go with where your heart wishes. You will find the way...The circle of family will provide strength...I know what it's like to be on edge as you are. Know that you have love surrounding you...it will get you through...you are in my thoughts...
you are in my thoughts...let your heart tell you what you are doing is the right thing...how fortunate your family is to have you...
Dear Edina,
I have had a card to send you since the PAC meeting, but realized that it may not get to you before you leave. I am so sympathetic for what you are gong through now. It is a very hard time, but you will be happy to have the time with your family, which is the most important thing right now. I could so relate to your comment about worrying every time the phone rings. It brought back memories of my mom's illness when she lived out of town.
Do the best you can and your art will always be there to sustain you.
Fondly,
Cynthia
Dear Edina,
My thoughts are with you during this very difficult time.
Big hugs,
Deb
Edina, I am so sorry about all of this. I think about you daily and how it is going. Thank you for sending the photographs. You are in my heart.
EDINA...
OH MY... my dear friend! You are so brave and strong in the face of these adversities!!!
My thoughts, and prayers are with you and your family.
Please keep us posted on your family.
A BIG BIG HUG to you!!!!!!
xo
I'm sending prayers your way. I am going through something very similar with my mom right now...she has very advanced, stage 4 lung cancer. I understand the surreal world you are living in right now.
All my best to you and your family.
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